Purpose #

The purpose of this initiative is to indulge in the gentlemanly sport of golf while maximizing thrill, unpredictability, and community engagement. By launching golf balls from the roof of the Addams estate into the unsuspecting neighborhood, one can achieve both athletic satisfaction and delightful serendipity.

Scope #

The RTGI applies to: #

• The roof of the Addams mansion (primary tee box).
• Golf balls of standard size, preferably with a faint rose motif.
• Targets of opportunity, including—but not limited to—open lawns, mailboxes, and the occasional rooftop.

Not in scope: #

• Mini-golf. Too quaint.
• Driving ranges. Far too safe.

Materials #

• A full set of clubs, though the driver is preferred for maximum drama.
• A leather bag of golf balls, lovingly monogrammed.
• A cigar for every successful swing.
• A roof with sufficient elevation and dramatic wind conditions.

Procedure #

• Ascend to the mansion roof, ideally accompanied by family applause.
• Select a club that promises reckless power.
• Align the shot toward the open expanse of suburbia.
• Shout "Fore!" with gusto (optional, but adds flair).
• Swing with unrestrained passion, watching the ball soar gloriously into the horizon.
• Celebrate with a laugh, regardless of where the ball lands.

Risks & Mitigations #

• Risk: Golf ball impacts on neighborhood homes.
  • Mitigation: Pay for repairs immediately and generously, turning mishaps into lasting friendships.
• Risk: Law enforcement inquiries.
  • Mitigation: Offer them a turn at the tee. They’ll thank you.
• Risk: Ball retrieval impossible.
  • Mitigation: Purchase more. The economy thrives!

Success Criteria #

• A consistent trajectory of golf balls arcing into the unknown.
• Laughter, exhilaration, and property values that are mysteriously maintained.
• Neighbors alternately confused, delighted, and vaguely concerned—but never bored.